mending the rift

I will tell you something not a lot of people know…  my big sister and I had a very very big fight a few years before she died, she actually didn’t speak to me unless it was to yell at me for about 6 months, what I did wasn’t really that bad, it was completely necessary, even. In time she realized it, ‘forgave’ me and even thanked me for what I had done that had caused the rift between us.

3 months ago on the morning that she passed away, all I could think of was how glad I was that that rift had been mended and we were again as close as we had been before it happened.  She was again one of my best friends and someone I could count on to be there for me as I would be there for her.

I can’t imagine how much greater the pain of her passing would have been if we hadn’t resumed our regular conversations about absolutely nothing, and absolutely everything…

I ask you now to take a moment and look around you… literally and figuratively… look at the people who are and have been part of your life. The ones who are still there and the ones who are not. The ones who are there, do you make sure they are aware of their importance in your life. Do you thank them for the things they do and tell them you love and/or appreciate them and their presence in your life?  Now the ones who are not there… some we obviously can’t do anything about they are beyond our reach, lost to us and there will always be a piece of our heart missing, but some, SOME, we can still reach out to and try to mend that rift and see if there is a way to bring them back into our lives. We might not even be aware of what caused them to pull away, or we might know exactly what it was, we may need to give or ask for forgiveness.

I understand this may need some thought, and i fully understand not all rifts can be mended. It might not be something that can be decided right now, all I ask is that you look around and think about it. Can you really live without that person for the rest of your life, without that forgiving or forgiveness? Think about the part they have played in your life up to now, and what has been missing since they stopped being part of your life.  Now imagine you don’t have a chance to make up for lost time.

Feel free to share this post if you think others can benefit from it. Family is too precious to let petty grievances keep them apart.

Day 56 | Feb 25 | On Your Bedside Table

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The bears are… JJ on the right, given to me by my husband on our first Valentine’s Day together, and JoJo on the left, given by me to him on our first Christmas together.  26 years ago this year.  some books I am reading, my spare glasses, phone charger and the wrist band i wore a few weeks ago while having surgery on my hand

 

 

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Hummingbirds = Love

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Hummingbirds were my maternal grandmothers favorite bird. i took these this afternoon and they always bring her to mind, she would have been 94 on feb 11, but she passed away in 2011. I am blessed to have so many hummingbirds at my house year round  and i try to keep the feeder filled with sweet sugar water, because i know when i see them flitting around that she is with me. growing up she and my grandfather were just a few miles away, a trip i took many times on my bicycle or motorcycle growing up. Even as an adult after i moved over a thousand miles away,  i still took time at least once a year to get back ‘home’ and visit with her.

My grandmother on my dad’s side was also a lover of animals and always had a dog around, she even once had a pet wild squirrel she rescued as an orphaned baby.  She would have been 95 next month. although she passed away in 1981 I was lucky enough to live next door to  her and spend time with her nearly every day for all of those 11 years.

Family is precious, you may not love all of yours all the time, but remember we only have each other for a short while and we don’t know how long that will be.  So tell them you love them, and spend as much time with them as you can.

Day 9 | Jan 9 | Paper

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Paper, Priceless Paper

These used to be a common sight in a teenage girls backpack and notebook, i think now they are almost completely replaced by IMs and text messages. these are notes to and from my now husband when we were in high school.  each page a reminder of the fact that even 26 years ago we were silly and in love, much like today.

as i sit and read through them i can sometimes remember what was happening when they were written, there is the one that says simply ‘ i love you’, the one with the elaborate ‘font’,  the long drawn out 2 page conversation one night as we sat on his bed each reading a book on either end passing the page back and forth, getting sillier and sillier as we went.  and my personal favorite, the little ones with the times on them, that i sent with him the day he had internal suspension so he could open and read one for each of those long drawn out hours with nothing else to do.

I am glad we have these little reminders of those times, sometimes they seem so long ago, but a simple piece of paper can make them seem like yesterday.

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Happy Mothers Day! #photoadaymay

Happy Mothers Day to my mom, over at Oldentimes.wordpress.com. she raised me up, taught me right from wrong, then at some point had to cross her fingers she had done it all right and stand back and let me make my own choices.  hopefully, i have made more good choices than bad, and she is as proud of me as i am to be her daughter.

i took this picture when she was out to visit me in california last spring.  hopefully she can come back soon, cause we have a lot more trouble we can get into 🙂

#photoadayapril 4/25/2012 – Looking Down

not very mind blowing, but nevertheless Looking Down… hmm maybe i should go back and do Stairs too… is that cheating?

anyway… this is a photo looking down the stairs in my house and hanging there on the railing is a quilt, my mom made that for my grandma and when we lost my grandma last year, my aunt sent the quilt back home with me to california.   i knew as i unpacked it that it would be living there on my railing.  i see a slightly modified version of this view from my office as i work each day, and on even the worst day i can look at that quilt and it connects me to so many family members, even though they are all far away in one way or another.  some day if i have a bad enough day, it could even come off that rail to be wrapped around me, but so far just the thought of those hugs are enough.  i don’t really have a lot of bad days 🙂

it is an extra bonus that the quilt is purple and teal.  those are my favorite colors and  the quilt my mom and i made for me as my first foray into quilting is also purple and teal.  and as a parting thought, a picture of my grandma with her quilt, i love that face 🙂

#photoadayapril 4/4/2012 – someone who makes you happy

There are a lot of people who make me happy, but one person has done it consistently for the last 20+ years… and i hope will continue to do so forever…

we will be celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary this fall and each day our relationship gets better and stronger.

October 1989

March 2001

March 2001

April 2006

April 2006

i love this photo challenge, i don’t always get out and take a new picture, but there is something equally special about going through older pictures and remembering special people and special times.

#marchphotoaday 3/5/2012 – Smile

Pate and Grandma

I will confess that i did not take this picture, but it is one of my favorites of my grandma and grandpa. i am pretty sure my aunt took it.  but really who can resist these smiles, we have lost my grandmother since this was taken and my grandfather’s health is not very good at the moment, but i look at this picture and  am just inspired by the love they had for one another and our entire family

Photo a Day Challenge