if only we had listened
August 10, 2012
14 Comments
We tried to listen, but the excitement was just too much, we grabbed our towels and ran. We loved those unpredictable waves, telling each other , “go farther” to see who would be knocked down first. We love the water, at home the fast rushing river or creek, or the calm smooth lake, tasting nice and cool when you got it in your mouth. The ocean was a whole new world every summer, salty and stinging, scary and exciting. There was just no time for sunscreen… if we had only realized how much time would be lost, when we could have been in the waves.
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Tags: beach, Flash fiction, friday fictioneers, fun, madison woods, ocean, ripples, summer, sunburn, vacation, waves14 thoughts on “if only we had listened”
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An idyllic scene-setting with a final menacing twist. Well done.
Thank you 🙂
enjoyed it
thank you
HI..Enjoyed your story but the ending left me puzzled. Did you end up suffering later in life because you were sunbathing so much (without sunscreen) … instead of enjoying the waves?
we just lost time that vacation because we got sunburned 😛 really really sunburned
loved it! I so remember those summers. Wish we could go back sometimes.
🙂 me too
I really like your contrast of the rushing creek, the calm lake, the stinging ocean. The grammar of the last line might leave more uncommunicated than you intend–I’m left a little puzzled. The identification the reader feels with his/her own delight in the water, in childhood, is well conveyed–enjoyed it!
Always time for sunscreen unless your young and learn the hard way.
Enjoyed it, but that ending must portend something. Just not quite clear.
Loved the feeling of the sea. I, too, was a little confused by the ending. The sunburn part was unclear. Wasn’t sure if the narrator was dealing with skin cancer later in life.
http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/08/safe.html
I’m also one of those confused by the ending. However, since I was afraid the ending was going to be that one of them got washed away or pulled out to sea by a rip tide because of not listening, it wasn’t so bad!! 🙂 You conveyed the excitement very well.
Dear Tara,
I thought this very good and telling and oh, so true. You really found the fly in the ointment, so to speak, of youth and the need to do something that might make a huge difference way down the line. I am a child of pre-sunscreen days and whatever lotion my mother could slather on got washed away immediately. Then a long stretch of time in the navy and at sea in other capacities. I am left with the knowledge that your story is mine and that the clock is ticking…
Aloha,
Doug