Month: February 2015

The escape.

Posted on

10987444_857965160931300_7517964415336617928_n[1]

she knew she had only moments. her escape would be noticed soon and the dogs would be on her trail. her bag had been packed and hidden for days but her chance had finally come and the door was unguarded.  she snuck past the gate somehow not waking the sleeping guard dog from his slumber. she could hear the dog now behind her he must have heard her after all.  the guard would be after her as well.  she had not gotten enough of a head start. she knew her escape had failed. she heard the words, ‘honey!, lunch time!’

 This is my entry for this week’s Friday Fictioneers Challenge run by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. The challenge is to write a story from the picture prompt in exactly 100 words.

 

friday fictioneers

Feb 23, a day of celebration and good memories or sobbing… likely both

Posted on

feb 23 is Chrysta’s birthday.  she would be 47 this year.  i would have called her and made fun of her for being older than me, just like i have every year on her birthday, probably since i was old enough to talk.  i am not sure what i will do this year.  i expect there will be a lot of crying, i will definitely eat some cake.  but other than that i have no idea.  oddly there is no manual for losing your sister (i did that on purpose Dannie) so i don’t know what to do on her birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas were easier i think because they are bigger than a single person, you have other traditions and people around you to take some of the missing away, there are pockets of sadness when you see or do something that triggers a memory, but then the rest of the poeple and traditions come in for a bit and move you on with the tide of the holiday.

but a birthday, a fucking birthday.. that is just about one person, a spotlight, right there on an empty chair.  i don’t like empty chairs.  i like chairs with people in them.  with balloons tied to them and too many candles on their cake.

so if you have any helpful hints let me know.. if you don’t that is fine too, i don’t think there is any real answer anyway.  i will muddle through, i am sure this isn’t the last time i will be a mess as i adjust to this void, but adjust i will.

thanks for listening 🙂

 

Uncategorized

mending the rift

Posted on

I will tell you something not a lot of people know…  my big sister and I had a very very big fight a few years before she died, she actually didn’t speak to me unless it was to yell at me for about 6 months, what I did wasn’t really that bad, it was completely necessary, even. In time she realized it, ‘forgave’ me and even thanked me for what I had done that had caused the rift between us.

3 months ago on the morning that she passed away, all I could think of was how glad I was that that rift had been mended and we were again as close as we had been before it happened.  She was again one of my best friends and someone I could count on to be there for me as I would be there for her.

I can’t imagine how much greater the pain of her passing would have been if we hadn’t resumed our regular conversations about absolutely nothing, and absolutely everything…

I ask you now to take a moment and look around you… literally and figuratively… look at the people who are and have been part of your life. The ones who are still there and the ones who are not. The ones who are there, do you make sure they are aware of their importance in your life. Do you thank them for the things they do and tell them you love and/or appreciate them and their presence in your life?  Now the ones who are not there… some we obviously can’t do anything about they are beyond our reach, lost to us and there will always be a piece of our heart missing, but some, SOME, we can still reach out to and try to mend that rift and see if there is a way to bring them back into our lives. We might not even be aware of what caused them to pull away, or we might know exactly what it was, we may need to give or ask for forgiveness.

I understand this may need some thought, and i fully understand not all rifts can be mended. It might not be something that can be decided right now, all I ask is that you look around and think about it. Can you really live without that person for the rest of your life, without that forgiving or forgiveness? Think about the part they have played in your life up to now, and what has been missing since they stopped being part of your life.  Now imagine you don’t have a chance to make up for lost time.

Feel free to share this post if you think others can benefit from it. Family is too precious to let petty grievances keep them apart.

family, random mutterings